[No, I’m not suggesting you try these while you’re babysitting]
The Magic School Bus
- Drink every time you admire Miss Frizzle’s bold fashion choices (she truly was the Lady Gaga of the education scene)
- Drink if you begin to think about the permission slip system at this school
- Drink whenever you learn a fun fact
- Drink whenever the class finds themselves in a jam
- Drink whenever the bus shifts into something
Madeline
- Drink whenever there is clear favouritism towards Madeline (yes I’m talking about you Miss Clavel)
- Drink whenever the phrase ‘two straight lines’ is used
- Drink anytime you see a Paris landmark
- Anytime when Madeline disobeys the rules (such a little shit, she needs boundaries Miss Clavel, get your shit together!)
- Anytime Pepito is a dick (if you’re reading Madeline and the Bad Hat)
- Anytime the girls brush their teeth and go to bed
Green Eggs & Ham
- Drink whenever he refuses to eat some lovely green eggs and ham
- Drink if you admire him for not bowing down to peer pressure
- Drink whenever a word rhyming with ‘ham’ or ‘them’ appears
- Drink if you begin to wonder if location of food makes it more palatable
- Drink if you wonder why Sam is so adamant that he tries green eggs and ham. Has he done something to that dish? Like spiked it with laxatives for a laugh?
- Drink whenever a different mode of transport is mentioned
Peter Rabbit

Via Pinterest
- Drink whenever you judge Peter’s decision to go into Mr Megregors garden
- Drink if you begin wondering why all the rabbits in this book are walking on two legs
- Drink if you begin wondering why Mr Megregor would want to hurt a rabbit who wears clothes?
There’s a Hippopotamus on Our Roof Eating Cake
- Drink whenever the Hippopotamus stays on the roof and eats some lovely cake
Caps for Sale
- Drink every time the main character wears many a cap
- Drink every time the word ‘cap’ is used
[Even though it’s not a book, there’s also the Mr Squiggle drinking game where you have to drink every time the picture he draws is a bit shit.]