I have a theory that nothing sexual has ever actually happened in a Mills and Boon book and that everybody who’s reading them just has a filthy mind. I mean the phrase ‘throbbing manhood’ could easily mean a general and perfectly innocent enthusiasm about doing some manly activities like building a hut or chopping some wood – get your mind out the gutter people!!!!
Anyway, I found a really large box of somebody’s old Mills and Boon collection at an op shop near my place called Posh (and as the name suggests Posh is there for when you want to class shit up!).
Lord knows why you’d want to chuck these diamonds out. They look almost as enticing as my Mum’s ironing board cover
(The towel has faded over the years, the dirty great flirt.)
Here are some pictures of the covers which seemed the most concerning:
(dude don’t tell her she’s the ‘second-best bride’ or a ‘temporary wife’ to her face! That’s cold)
(Spoilers I think the ‘Bright Idea’ is that they bone. Also the Singing Tree is a terrible penis nickname)
(Dude I don’t care if your uncle is Spanish that still doesn’t make it ok that he’s trying to crack onto you)